How do you differentiate between typical behaviors of teenagers and sadness or depression?

Adolescence can be emotionally taxing and may involve various coping mechanisms that can affect the behavior of adolescents, including social changes, school difficulties, romantic relationships, and more. All of these challenges occur during a sensitive period, as adolescence is characterized by physical and emotional changes, as well as the adolescent's attempt to establish their independence and test boundaries, not only their own but also those of their parents and other individuals around them.

What does this look like in practice? It can involve anger and arguments with parents (sometimes without clear reasons), isolating themselves in their rooms, staying out late with friends, refusing to attend school, experiencing emotional turbulence from minor conflicts, and various other mood swings and behaviors that may baffle parents.

Is this normal?

The short answer is "It depends."
First and foremost, it is entirely natural for parents to be concerned about their adolescent children. Many parents find it difficult to determine when a specific behavior in their adolescent children is normal and when it might represent symptoms of depression.

Try to recall the time when you were going through adolescence. It's highly likely that you, too, experienced similar things, attempting to forge your path as an independent individual and relying less on your parents. You probably went through emotional changes, ranging from moments of happiness to deep sadness. Reasonably, you also had to deal with new experiences that sometimes led to disappointment and sadness. It could have been a difficult argument with a friend, a heartbreak, struggles in achieving goals (at school or in extracurricular activities), and more.

Indeed, sadness is a natural part of the human emotional spectrum. Feelings of sadness come and go, but there are moments of calm when you can laugh, comfort, or feel better.

However, it is possible that their behavior is not solely explained by occasional sadness but may indicate clinical depression. Clinical depression is not a passing emotion but rather a complex mental condition that requires treatment.

What is Clinical Depression?

Major Depression (or Clinical Depression) is a condition that can profoundly affect the lives of those who suffer from it, including children, adolescents, and adults alike. However, it is treatable, and with the assistance of psychotherapy and, if necessary, medication, significant relief from symptoms and improved functioning can be achieved.

Clinical depression may manifest somewhat differently from person to person, especially in children and adolescents. For example, depression in adolescents often presents itself with less typical sadness found in adults and more commonly as anger, outbursts, and withdrawal.

The diagnosis of Major Depression is typically made when at least five of the following symptoms persist throughout most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks:

• Moodiness or sadness: Pervasive feelings of sadness or unhappiness are one of the primary symptoms of depression.
• Irritability: Adolescents may experience depression as irritability, feeling like others don't care, or that everything is "unfair," which can lead to negative expressions of anger.
• Loss of interest: A loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed, such as hobbies, sports, or spending time with friends.
• Changes in appetite or weight: Depression can lead to fluctuations in weight and appetite, either increased or decreased.
• Sleep disturbances: It may cause either excessive sleep or insomnia, along with changes in sleep patterns.
• Fatigue: A pervasive sense of fatigue and lack of energy, even after a full night's sleep.
• Difficulty concentrating: Trouble with focus, decision-making, and completing tasks, which can impact academic performance.
• Restlessness or slowness: Restlessness, fidgeting, or speaking and moving more slowly than usual may occur.
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt: Adolescents with depression may be highly self-critical, have low self-esteem, and feel like they are a burden to others.
• Thoughts of death or suicide: Persistent thoughts of death, self-harm, or suicide are serious warning signs and require immediate attention.

It's essential to remember that depression is a treatable condition. Early intervention can be crucial in preventing severe consequences. If your adolescent mentions self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or exhibits any of the above symptoms, it is imperative to seek immediate help and professional intervention.

How to Determine if Your Adolescent is Depressed

It can be challenging to distinguish between typical adolescent behavior and depression, but there are some factors to consider when trying to assess your adolescent's emotional well-being. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

Severity: Consider how extreme the behavior is. For example, many adolescents may sleep for 9-10 hours a night without it being a cause for concern. However, if they are sleeping excessively or having trouble sleeping at all, it may be a sign of depression.

Impact on Multiple Areas: Think about whether the difficulties are limited to a specific area of their life or if they affect various aspects of their life. If their behavior only changes at school, it might not be related to depression. However, if they become withdrawn, irritable, or disinterested in all areas of their life, it could be a sign.

Duration: Assess how long the symptoms have been present. If they persist for more than two weeks and are not related to a specific event or situation, it may indicate depression.

Event-Related: Consider if the symptoms are related to a specific event, such as a breakup or conflict with friends. It's normal for adolescents to react strongly to such events, but if the symptoms persist long after the event has passed, it may be a sign of depression.

What can be done if you are concerned that your adolescent is experiencing depression?

When there is significant emotional distress that affects the functioning of the adolescent, it is advisable to seek professional guidance. You can schedule an initial consultation with a family physician or a pediatrician, and you can also reach out to a psychologist and/or a psychiatrist.

In most cases of depression and anxiety, the recommended initial treatment is psychotherapy. Regular sessions with a psychologist or emotional therapist can be beneficial and supportive. Additionally, recommendations may include pharmacological treatment in addition to psychotherapy.

It is important to note that if you identify that your child is in danger or may pose a risk to themselves, it is crucial to seek a psychiatric evaluation. You can contact a psychiatric assessment center 24 hours a day for the assessment of the level of danger involved.

The Role of Parents in Dealing with Adolescent Issues

Whether your children are suffering from depression or not, parents have an essential role in supporting them as they face the challenges of adolescence. When your children see you, the parents, as reliable figures they can turn to in times of difficulty and crisis, they will feel more secure and less alone. Additionally, this increases the likelihood that they will reach out to you in times of distress or danger.

It's important to remember that both the emotional state and the approach of parents have an impact on the emotional and psychological well-being of adolescents. Parents must take care of their own physical and emotional needs so that they can be emotionally available for their children.

When parents are under stress, it affects the entire household, creating a tense or anxious atmosphere that can also impact adolescents. There is no reason why parents shouldn't seek emotional support when needed to acquire appropriate tools to better cope with the upcoming period at home.

How to Improve Communication with Your Adolescents

Even though adolescents tend to avoid emotional conversations with their parents, it's important to make an effort to engage with them. If you are concerned about their behavior, here are some recommended steps:

1. Choose a calm and relaxed time to have a conversation with them. Don't initiate it after an argument or disagreement, and don't interrupt enjoyable activities. Select a peaceful and quiet place without distractions.
2. Discuss any concerning behaviors you've noticed, ask if they are aware of them, and emphasize that you are not trying to invade their privacy or bother them. Make it clear that you care about them and want to help in any way you can.
3. Show them that you see them and their needs. Demonstrate that you understand the challenges they are facing.
4. Ask them what they think could help them and what would be good for them. Consult with them about what might meet their needs.
5. Share your feelings with them. Encourage emotional dialogue within the family and open up about your own emotions and challenges. However, be careful not to overwhelm them with your emotional burden.
6. Be prepared for the possibility that adolescents may initially push back, refuse to open up, or resist being vulnerable. Their reaction is natural and expected, but the fact that you reached out will be remembered.

In summary, the adolescent stage is challenging for both adolescents and parents. To help them navigate this period, it's important to try and understand the underlying causes of the difficulties they are experiencing while considering the possibility that they may need professional assistance.

Whether they need mental health support or not, your involvement as parents is of great importance. Your support can greatly impact their ability to overcome this period in the best way possible.